she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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