in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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