I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
