sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
tell me about the eggs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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