WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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