I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
babies were throwing up all over the place
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
