remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
