First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
