I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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