the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
