Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
