in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
