just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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