how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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