i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
