If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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