I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
