Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
