ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
