she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Drake has all the answers
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
