As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize