Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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