Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
