How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
