the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
