I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He passed out mid-signature
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
