Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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