so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize