sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
