So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
