ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
