This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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