____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
