Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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