Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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