Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
