In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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