What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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