So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
