paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
