do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize