Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
