sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
