I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
