just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
