Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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