You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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