could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
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he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.