I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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