At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
