watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize