i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
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She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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