Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
