Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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