she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
