dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
