office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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